he calls me home?

Its been ages since i wrote anything on here,but would like to share my thoughts on something.Like most people i have my problems,and while i like to think that i always overcome them there are some that are like old friends they keep commng around ,the same old stuff showing up.Maybe the real point is not to overcome but to experience and evolve with rather than change them.

Here you see eye
eye that is overflowing with want
with tears so deep thay
hang heavy on my lash

the swerling world within
holds all the universe
all the dreams
all the hurt of my heart

its just become clear to me how much what you think influences what you get! so be careful what you think!!

holy father,creater and lord,
grant this your child the wonder of your
devine grace,kindel in him the light of your
burning love,unflinching faith,and healing spirit.
for no man loves you more.

cause him to be uplifted by they gentle hand
into thy healing light,and radiant smile
so that he is whole and may continue the work
you set for him to complete.may all that he has
given to others in your name be returned
now to heal and guide him home to us.

In this dark world he has shone your light
and love as you would,taken time to listen,to laugh
and never to judge,we ask as one voice,all who he has
touch that you may heal and return him to us
whole and well that he may heal us too.

how is it that just when your doing fine,or think you are ,life comes up from behind and kicks you in the pants?

im usually an optimist but recently things have become harder to see the up side of,i guess that the same stuff is always there but we dont want to rock the boat when we are feeling good,and cant deal with stuff when we are feeling shit!
god sure has a sense of humour.one great thing about blogging is that you find that your not the only one whos having a had time or fucking things up.

went to my mother-in-laws today with my partner and got anbushed,things have been a little strained between my partner and me the last few weeks,we havent been talking that much and ive been going through a lot of shit.but today when i went up to my partners parents house he brought the whole subject up.
It resulted in a massive argument and me getting very upset,i realise its had for him to talk to me sometimes but this was like betrail!they are bias they only see things from his point of view.I do not have the luxury of parents i can count on like my partner,for the last 10 years i have put up with and helped him manage his bi-polar disorder and stood by his side,but the first time i have a problem its everyone attack!

maybe im just sounding off here but all i want is some peace and a little understanding,and a partner whos by my side not on my back twisting the knife in!

Its been so hot today everyone is weating and snapping at each other ,we are all using too much electric running endlass fans and air conditioning.so when the day was winding down and the kids were finnaly going to bed i took a moment to go out into the garden.....and it was raining.....and yes god is in the rain......next time you have a stressful day try it!

i am a human being,

but what am i being

being judgemental

being loving

being tolerant

being the best that i can be?

what are you being? human?

as a child i loved nothing more than sitting under my fathers fishing umbrella at the bottom of the garden listening to the rain.For me i made my own magic,life was full of wonders and possibilitys,dispite having a father who tryed very hard to brum any kind of imagination or fantsy out of me i still retain that sense of wonder and love of the world.What magical things can you remember from your life,what special moments have you had?do you take enough time to make new magic????

after watching the world cup with some friends and family i was aware of someone at the back of the room saying "the black bastards they breed like rabits" that was shocking enough,but the fact that it went un-challenged was so shocking i got up and left the room.

I have always hated racisum,but recently its become clear that if i dont let those who do it go un-challenged the i feel im as bad.It might mean i get a bashing but it has to be done.I was in the minority there but i had my say,not because i want to change anyones opinion because you cant' more because i have made a commitment to walk my talk.I feel we are all the same no matter what the colour of our skin,sex,race,or what language .we all love our kids worry about money,get sick,laugh,cry,pray.Untill we realise the things that make us the same instead of the things that make us differant then we cant hope to change the world or live in peace.